Jon is 38 years old and identifies as a gay man, he is in a relationship with a gay man.
…A kind of balance – there’s a lot about balancing and this sort of positive and negative space… …of wanting contact, wanting space. There’s something quite fixed about this and yet there’s a freeness to it, or an energy to it. And then there’s this sort of weird dialogue – there are all these hands, but then there’s the two actual holes through the pads…the whole thing is in sort of a dialogue with this, in a way like they’re fixed and you can’t bring them together. And I feel like part of this, all of this, is in a way a conversation with my irritation that – I can’t just, have…you know, just hold hands. I don’t feel it about blinking or breathing or kissing actually. But this sort of – that my anxiety about it, and all the thinking that comes from that.
…And I want to not care what other people think. But then I know there’s a certain violence in that, and that again is my sort of childhood experience, you know of being a bit much. And actually people finding that amusing, and me playing with that, taking advantage of that. But it also being –you know, there’s sort of more to my life than this. But there is kind of a binary sometimes that can get a bit frustrating between – there’s things that I am aware that I do – of sort of flooding or absenting myself. And I think that applies to my hand-holding, but not just that.