Indira

Indira, 36 years old, identifies as a bisexual woman, in a 5-month relationship with an individual who identifies as a lesbian woman.

This research made me think about how I experience showing affection, especially if I’m with a woman. And it made me think actually do I show affection when I’m in public? Or if I do, is it the same as everyone else’s, or is it like in a certain coded way or things like that. I’m a British Bangladeshi and it’s still quite a taboo subject. If you are not straight. I grew up as a Muslim, so I’m getting it like that double fold of just not being comfortable coming out to certain groups of people.

This is a thermal image of me and Jan. We are in the British Museum.  And that was, I think the second or third date. So, at that point, we were like, do we like each other, or we don’t we? We didn’t know what was happening.  It was pretty obvious what was happening, but we just didn’t want to be the first one to say it.  And this photo, even though it’s us and we look quite coupley, because it’s a thermal image it doesn’t show up our faces very well. It’s like being out, without really outing myself.  And I think, because we are in the museum, it’s very unlikely I’m going to bump into anyone I know. And I think it was in the evening.  I was just like ‘I don’t think I’m going to bump into anyone I know’.  I felt free.  I felt more free to hold her hand and just be more coupley, like little touches and things like that.  I think when I’m in certain places, I always, it’s just like instinct, I always think, do I know anyone here? Would I know anyone here? What is the community like?  I’m always scanning for those kind of things.